Lilsirene

Baby, did you forget to take your meds*?

Sabin Corneliu Buraga, Schizophrenia

I have to take my medication, if I don't I go crazy, I go mad. I see things that don't exist and there are terrible consequences. I have to take my medication, without it I get scared. I see shadows on the wall, creatures on the ceiling. Arrows from nowhere pierce my skin and I fall to the ground. If I don't take my medication, I get terrified, petrified, terrorized, paralyzed. I can't move a limb, I can't breathe no air. I can't grab the telephone, 'cause I can't move no limb.

I can't make no decision, if I don't take my medication.

When I get scared, I curl up in my bed. There's sweat on my face and a veil upon my eyes. I can't breathe no air, I can hardly speak. My medication is all I have to get me out of the crisis, to bring me back to the surface. I am so scared. So scared of everything, every little thing. I shiver and tremble and shake, I am out of breath. It's exhausting, you know, to get back to the surface. Some people don't understand. They don't have to struggle to get up and stand steady on both legs. No vicious snake is eating up their stomach, liver and heart. No huge dragon is hovering over them. My medication keeps the dragon away and the snake asleep. It keeps it to the ground. He can't do no harm, 'cause the pills turn off the light, and he's afraid of the dark. That little bastard, he keeps quiet. He goes weak and lets go of me. He turns back into the despicable little worm he is, and from then on he's nothin' but a light weight I can cope with.

So people, I'll keep on with my medication, 'cause I don't want no dragon spitting fire before my face. I want no heavy snake to wrap himself around me and force himself upon me. So I'll try not to care about ignorant remarks and bossy persons who've decided I'm too fragile to know better. I am damn fragile I reckon, but I am damn strong too. 'Cause I've been fighting my dragon for years, and I'm still here to tell.


*The words are from Placebo's song "Meds", which I'm sure you've recognized.